more.

I don't think Pennsylvania is where my home is anymore, but I'm hesitant to say that Rochester is home.  For now though, I guess it's the best that I've got.  

I feel restless from staying in one place for so long.  Spring quarter and part of this summer has led me all over the East Coast and New England.  I've rode subway cars in cities larger than I have ever dreamed possible.  I've laid on docks at the most serene lakes.  New York, NY, Dillsburg, PA, Sunapee, NH, Lake Ontario, NY, Assateague, MD, Fremont, NH, Boston, MA, Bethany Beach, DE, Dagsboro, DE, Lancaster, PA, Ocean City, MD, and all of the places along the way.  I've been a lot of places in a short amount of time, but I crave to see more, experience more, feel more.  

The idea of dropping my jobs, friends, family, and school for a year to travel this country, and possibly others,  has more than crossed my mind lately.  If I had the necessary funds to take this trip today, in all honesty, I probably would.  I want to see all of the great things there are to see in this world.  

Soon, I would like to post photos from the places I've been.  I have thousands of images, so picking one or two for each trip is going to be hard.  Finding the time to do this with two jobs is also going to be hard.  And after that, I hope to be on my way to somewhere new, camera in tow, ready to see more, experience more, and feel more.

right now

Holy fuck. I haven't posted anything in almost a month.  Not that anyone reads the stuff I put on here, but still. I've been in a huge rut lately, but I think I'm starting to head in the right direction.  Not just with art, but with life in general.  I'm not anywhere close to where I want to be, and I won't be close any time soon, but it's a step.  When I get some time I want to put up some more photos from this quarter's photo arts class.  

Also, I went to NYC for the first time in my life last weekend.  I had such high expectations of glamour and fabulous people and bustling streets...the whole nine.  I feel like I have a love/hate thing happening with my experience there this weekend.  It's hard to describe.  I loved it there because it was such a change of pace compared to where I currently lived and where I grew up.  The huge difference was more than appealing.  At the same time though, I hate that city a lot.  There are so many problems it's insane.  I've never seen a homeless person in my life before I went there.  I've never seen protests.  I've never seen such pollution...dirt...etc.  Despite all of that, I probably had one of the best weekends of my life.  I don't have a ton of friends here, but the few friends I do have are fucking amazing.  I wouldn't give up that weekend for anything.

I'm going to be traveling a lot for the next month.  Every weekend to be exact.  Home this weekend, New Hampshire the next, and the next few are still yet to be decided.  I'm so stoked to see new places and get inspired and make photographs.  I'm not really sure where all of these new places and experiences are going to get me as far as my photography goes...I don't really have a set plan for things.  I'm hoping it can all just fall into place since this feels right at the moment.  Let's just hope I'm not wrong for the sake of my GPA since this whole weekend adventure idea is my final project. 

Right now I just want to photograph, see new places, laugh, and love. Right now.

lately.

Lately I've been shooting a shit ton more compared to my Photo Arts classes from first and second quarter.  Luckily, I have my car up here now, so at least I can get off campus for all of this shooting I've been doing.  The first image is from an abandoned building by a train yard in Rochester.  The other three images are from a conservatory in Rochester.  I've never been a fan of taking pictures of flowers, but these few can slide I guess.  These are just a few of hundreds of images from last week's adventures.  This past weekend is going to need a post too.  I don't know what to think lately because I'm actually starting not to mind living here.  I've been hanging out with a good bit of new people, going new places, and getting off campus every chance I get.  It's just so weird not despising every waking moment of being here.  I'm not going to complain though, these past few weeks have been pretty damn awesome.  

Love.

Recently, I have become completely obsessed with a jewelry designer named Pamela Love.  This particular piece of jewelry is a talon cuff bracelet.  Oh, did I mention the talons are carved from 10,000 to 30,000 year old mammoth tusks?  There are only 14 of these bracelets in the world.  She also has normal silver/gold/bronze ones in the same style, but only 14 like this.  I don't even want to know how much something this amazing costs, but I sure as hell want it.  Her other pieces are equally beautiful.  I need a job.  A very high paying one.  So I can be decked out in her jewelry and revel in the awesomeness. 

photo from http://www.pamelalovenyc.com/

ten.

Week ten.  Is kicking my ass.  The end.

self.

These images are for my Photo Arts II visual journal assignment.  I was supposed to have a self portrait from the beginning of the quarter and the end.  The first one I took after getting out of the shower one afternoon.  I took that photo then because at the time I felt like I was naked.  I kept putting myself out there and I kept getting shot down.  I feel like that is still happening today.  The other was taken sometime in the wee hours of this morning.  I look terrible lately.  I never wear my contacts, or make up, or nice clothes, or do my hair anymore.  Winter has officially wrecked my fucking shit.  I can't wait to get out of here for break.  I need it.


( I don't know why the second image is slightly lower than the first, I can't get them to be even.  Oh well.)

hit it.

Today, on the way to my eight am class, I saw a girl wearing sweatpants that said "hit it" across her ass.  I think it is safe to assume that:
1) She likes to "get it in."  Like..."dude I would hit that."
OR
2) She enjoys a spanking?
Regardless, why does this need to be advertised on your ass at eight am, or any time?  You are dumb.  


On a better note, yesterday was 40 degrees, so I saw grass on the ground for the first time in...oh I don't know...two months?  I'm glad the weather is supposed to be mild for this week.  The cold was really getting to me.  

portrait.

This is an unedited shot from the studio portraits I did last week with my partner, Stephen.  I'm pretty happy with how these images turned out.  The fake blood I made wasn't really dripping down his face like I wanted it to, but other than that, things look okay to me.  This was my last shooting assignment for my Photo Arts II class at RIT and my last shooting assignment with my current professor.  Next quarter I'll have a new professor and I'll be doing all sorts of new stuff hopefully.  Right now, I'm just ready for break.  It's been a long 20 weeks here and getting away for a little while keeps sounding better and better. 

fool.

You chat to me like we connect
But I don't even know if we're still friends
It's so confusing, understanding you 
Is making me not want to do
The things like I know that I should do
But I trip fast and then I lose
And I hate looking like a fool.


-Kate Nash


Yup.  Looking like a fool is becoming a new hobby of mine. 


Hopefully I'll have some new photos and stuff up soon.  I've been really busy lately with school and just trying to have some fun here and there before winter quarter takes away all of my sanity.  I can't wait for spring quarter to start.  Having a new photo teacher is going to be kind of weird, but I'm going to get to learn all sorts of cool new stuff, which is always exciting.  Spring will be good too.  I miss seeing grass on the ground.  I'm going to bring my car up to Rochester for spring quarter.  I'm not a fan of having to depend on other people to get places. I also really miss driving way too fast down some barely traveled road with my sunroof open and sunglasses on.  There aren't a lot of things better than that.   

awkward.

you know what's awesome?  not being able to sleep when it's five am.  having an eight am class that day makes not being able to sleep even better.  i think i'm legitimately becoming an insomniac.  when i'm still awake to hear the facilities management staff start cleaning around four in the morning, that's when i know i'm fucked.  tonight was different though, instead of hearing them while i lay awake in bed, i opened the bathroom door to one of them.  they said "good morning" and i ran into my room as fast as i could because i was wearing a tight tank top without a bra.  awkward.  yeah...this day is staring off well.  bring it, monday.

pickles.

I grew up in this little town about thirty minutes away from Harrisburg.  I call Dillsburg, PA home.  For some reason, someone decided it was a good idea to make our town have some sort of weird pickle obsession.  There is absolutely no reason for this, we have no history of pickle making or anything like that.  We simply just have "Dill" in the beginning of our town's name.  Regardless of there being no correlation between Dillsburg and pickles, we still have this pickle obsession, like I said.  When I say "pickle obsession," I don't think you can fully understand the level of weird unless you physically go to this town during some "big event" such as Pickle Fest or Pickle Drop, etc.  Pickle Fest is some mysterious, unknown, freaky thing to me because in the 18  years I've lived here, I can't bring myself to go to it.  I find nothing appealing in a pickle festival.  Pickle Drop is our small little farm town's take on the ball dropping in Times Square for New Years.  We drop a giant pickle at midnight (not a real one, obviously), and among the "festivities" there are such delicacies as pickle soup, chocolate covered pickles, and other vomit worthy food items involving a pickle.  We also have this Planter's Peanut-like pickle man chilling in a random parking lot.  For some reason, my friends that don't live in the area get a real kick out of this little, wooden, pickle man.  Personally, I think it is absolutely fucking retarded, but as strange as my town can get sometime, I miss it a lot.

sunshine?

There is one thing in particular I have rarely seen since I left home for Rochester, sunlight.  I feel like this town would be a trillion times more bearable if the sun would shine once in a while, especially now that it's winter it and snows every day...sad thing is, I'm not exaggerating at all.  It literally snows every. single. god. damn. day.  Before it was winter, it would rain all the time, and if it didn't rain, those same gray clouds would hang over this entire city.  I don't even understand how it's possible for a place to be so cloudy at all times.  It kind of blows my mind.  As if the constant gray overcast that has consumed my world wasn't monotonous enough, I'm also drowning in a town of bricks.  They're everywhere, on every building, on the ground, everywhere.  I mean...I get it...it's Brick City.  That's their thing...but really?  I don't know...repetition and monotony  drive me absolutely insane, so maybe that's why the constant cloud coverage and fortress of boring brick walls bothers me so much.  ...Or maybe it's the fact that I'm running on two hours of sleep and becoming increasingly bitchy and more tired by the second.  All I know is when I do finally get some sleep, it would be nice to wake up to sunlight streaming in the windows once and a while.  And for all of the nights where I'm wide awake, it would be nice to see the stars.

lazy.

Today is a lazy day.  Today I am in sweat pants, wearing no make up, and laying in bed while I post this.  It is also 1:30 in the  afternoon...and I couldn't care less.  Being lazy puts me in a better mood.  Also, I wanted a reason to put a picture of myself on here because I got my nose pierced.  My parents weren't exactly pleased with this, but I love it.  It'll grow shut eventually if I want it to, so it's whatever.  

fake blood.

I have a shoot coming up soon where I have to depict some sort of transformation.  I decided to have my model transform into a beaten, bloody mess.  This is my friend, Austin.  He was kind enough to be my guinea  pig today.  I had no idea what I was doing to be honest.  I've never  made fake blood and bruises before.  I've never even done any extreme make up before.  I looked up what to make the fake blood with and that was about it.  I kind of just played it by ear.  For a first try and about 15 minutes to work on this, I don't think it turned out too shabby.  I think I'm going to keep playing around with this until it's time to get into the studio.

quote.

"Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives... and to the ‘good life,’ whatever it is and wherever it happens to be." 
~Hunter S. Thompson
I'll toast to that shit.

barf.

 

 

Guacamole is something that I find completely disgusting.  It looks like baby shit.  I can't handle that.  I want my nose pierced so badly.  My dad told me if I ate a serving of gauc with tomatoes and chips, I could get the piercing.  My nose is still lacking metal because I won't even eat that shit for something I really, really want.  This hate for such a widely loved food just recently saved my day.  My friends that went to Pennsylvania like this nasty stuff, so naturally, they ate it.  Later that night, I wake up to both of them in the bathroom throwing up.  For hours.  And hours.  I'm not really sure how some avocados can give you food poisoning that badly, but I've never been happier to hate a food item before.  Lucky for them, I took multiple pictures of it to forever remind them of their favorite dining experience.

roadtrips.

On the way back from Pennsylvania.  Sunset, headlights, nearly 300 miles, and barely any sleep.  These road trips need to happen more.  Winter at RIT is brutal.  Nothing gets you out of a shitty mood like speeding down highways in the middle of the night with your friends while you scream the words to your favorite songs.  Yes, these need to happen more. 

glitter.

I think I'm starting to develop an obsession with sparkly tops.  This isn't even close to half of them.  At least they'll be useful for Stephen's photo shoot next week.  I'm nervous...I'm not too big on being the model, so we'll see how things go.  It might be time to go clubbing soon though...

Home.

Two weeks ago I was home for Christmas break.  Two weeks and my puppy has doubled in size, my little brother got his first job, my dad is in danger of losing his job, etc.  It's funny to think about how quickly the town you grew up in and the people you love change, even if it's only a short amount of time between visits.  Break was stressful, exhausting, and confusing to say the least.  I'm home for one and a half days basically to see a concert and maybe some family, then I'm back to RIT.  I'm hoping to clear my head, better my self, see the people I love, and just be happy for the short amount of time I'm back.  Hopefully I'll have some time to shoot while I'm here.  This weekend looks pretty packed full, but I want to start shooting more.  Winter has been sucking the motivation out of me and I haven't been putting enough effort into photography lately.  I'm hoping this will be a good way to start off in the direction I want to keep going in: up.  I love learning.  I love my friends.  I love my life.  I just forgot for a little while.

paints

Today I had my first day in an RIT studio.  Stressful? Yes, but it's all good.  Things turned out better than I was expecting at least.  I have the next three Tuesdays in the studio again, so hopefully I'll get used to things here. I started painting again a little bit to stress manage.  We'll see how that goes...  For now it's helping.

Maxwell

Being home for Christmas break was about as stressful as having a small child.  Why?  Because of this adorable little guy.  Don't let the cuteness fool you, he's more than a hand full, but I love him.  Too bad I won't see him again until March.  He'll be all big then.  =[